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I’m posting Halloween Party information here for….really no one. Maybe Andrea, maybe my cousin Melissa. The party this year will be:

Saturday, October 31st, 2008 @ 8pm (Halloween)

Now, please don’t start with the “you should have it on day X, cause I have this Y to do on Z”.

The date is set in stone. I understand your house will most likely be vacant. Leave a bowl of candy, and a nice big sign to “Please Take One” - or hell, just leave an empty bowl with a sign - trick or treaters will assume someone else already wiped out all your candy, but will believe you to be kind and generous, and won’t egg your home. I speak from personal experience, having been a trick or treater/eggmunition specialist myself some time ago. I also understand you may have kiddos - this is a perfect opportunity for Grandma and Grandpa to have a holiday with the kids, hire a sitter, or invest in that baby kennel you’ve always wanted.

This is a costume party. Not a costume optional party. If it was a costume optional party, I would call it something to the effect of “Justin’s 37th Annual Halloween Costume Optional Party”. The only way you can come without a costume, is if you are completely naked. Should you be so bold, I would appreciate it if you didn’t sit directly on any of my furniture, but rather find another party goer’s lap, and use that as a buffer between my furniture and your behind.

Creating/putting together a customer should be fun and mildly exciting. You should put some effort into it.

You may not come as the following:
-A person doing what you already do as a living. I don’t show up in a dress shirt and pair of slacks representing a rural cell phone company. Additionally, if you’re an accountant, you shouldn’t show up as….an accountant.
-A costume derived from items from your parents’/friends’ occupation. No electricians, construction workers, firefighters, etc…
-Sexy schoolgirls/secretaries - This is way overdone, and unimaginative. If you’d like to dress this way, call me directly and we’ll have a private party.
-Yourself
-Something lame

To help clear this up, I’ve included some examples. Here are some great costumes with thought and effort:

Ken

Lorri, Karl, and Malia

Rachel and Christy

China and Dawn

Great. The following is the worst dressed list:

April the Pig

Krissy as some kind of Vampire Thing

My sister Misty as a Wildland Firefighter with “costume” procured from her bf’s job.

The consequences? Well, let’s see what happened to my sister later that night…

Now that we’ve got the costume portion out of the way, just a few friendly reminders…

-This is an indoor/outdoor party in late October. It’s likely that it will be cold. It has snowed in the past. You may want to take that into consideration when creating your costume.
-No kiddos. 21+ only
-Bring whoever you want, including, perhaps a DD.
-Except (mentioned above) aggressive drunk people that may hurt others, or my stuff.
-If you want to bring something(encouraged, but not required) bring snacks, booze, or ice. I usually have us covered pretty well on beer.
-It is my birthday. I heart gifts.

So, I spent the weekend in Lake Tahoe between Edgewood Tahoe and Montbleu for Andrea’s and Ken’s wedding. I, (yes, by “I”, I mean me) was the presiding minister with my online ordination from themonastery.org I don’t have any pictures of this portion of the event, yet, as I was, you know, busy.

We did have a celebrity show up. In fact, she was part of the wedding party. Republician VP Nominee - Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin

Krista B is Sarah Palin

Please share with me your comments below.

Ok. Add a new friend to your phone book. Cha Cha. Cha Cha’s wireless number is 242242

This service is totally free. Ask it a question, and it’s answered by AN ACTUAL HUMAN BEING!

Things I have asked today:
Tell me a dirty joke.
Where is the biggest rib cookoff in America held?
What is the official dinosaur of the state of Nevada?

All answered correctly.

Enjoy.

I just signed up for Water Management’s (my local garbage company) online billing. They offer a checkbox for “Click here if you’d like to be notified about our specials and upcoming events.” WTF? I don’t want to be a participant in any special event revolving around garbage. And what specials could they possibly have for free? Let’s see if they actually take all 17 bags of leaves sitting by my curb.

Will someone please comment on this entry, to help me validate if anyone actually reads my blog, or if my comments are filtered to death?

Ok, grab your cell phone and save this number to your phone book:

800.466.4411

That’s 800.GOOG.411 This is a new and free directory assistance service by google. Unlike 800.FREE.411, there’s no advertisements that you have to listen to, and plus they connect you for free! The only downside is they only support directory service for businesses - but seriously, who has a a home phone anymore anyway. I saved this as my number 2 speed dial on my phone, and use it about 3 times a day. Love it.

As a general principle, I don’t give money to the homeless.

About a month ago, when I was in Detroit for back to back weddings, myself and “My Girls“, not to be confused with My Boys, the TBS original series with all new episodes coming in 2008, were tooling around the scary streets of downtown Detroit looking for a place to park adjacent to some Greek restaurant that Andrea was raving about. During our walk from the parking garage to the restaurant, we were solicited by some cranked-out pregnant homeless woman for money, so she could feed her growing baby. It was obvious that she was very pregnant, or had scurvy, or a basketball stretched tighly under her shirt. It was also very obvious that she was on something as she was missing most of her teeth, and was chasing after us in a drunken/high stumbling fashion.

We told her that we didn’t have any money (lie). Like a good salesperson she repeated that she needed to feed her baby as she followed us. As we kept walking, she yelled at us in the distance behind us, condemning us to the same fate as her sometime in the near future.

We chatted idlely, once we were a safe distance away, about the overall sadness of the situation. We could have “helped” her financially, but we all know where that money was really going.

Once we arrived at the restarant, I decided that some day, the next time a bum asked me for money for food, and if I was enroute to dining myself, I’d take the bum along with me, and have him/her as my guest. (Provided this place of dining was not at my home, nor required the use of my car for transportation.) I also decided, vocally, that I was going to pack my leftovers and give them to this woman should we see her again. I mean, it’s not a “new” meal, but, as the saying goes “beggers can’t be choosers.”

I also requested more bread from our server, and planned to give this away too, just in case. I made sure everyone from the table packed up their leftovers too. This table was bare when we left.

On our way back to the garage, we were approached by another bum. This one was the exact opposite of the combative prego lady we had encountered earlier. He approached and asked for some spare change for Mickey D’s. Without missing a beat, I reached into our large bag, and handed him the first box of leftovers on the top. Dude was stunned. I don’t know if he was surprised at the generosity (which seems quite mediocre in retrospect), or that he really wanted money for beer (can’t blame him) or crank, or whatever those people that live that way do, and he maybe he didn’t have a rebuttal when he asked people for money for food, and they gave him food. As a salesperson myself, unexpected road blocks in the sales process can throw even the most experienced salesperson off, leaving them in a state of silence until they can beat that rebuttal.

After realization set in that he had what her wanted, or at least asked for in his hands, he thanked me kindly and walked away.

This evening, after dining solo in Bishop at Whiskey Creek, solo, and having the Flat Iron Steak cooked so perfectly, without an ounce of fat, I walked back to my hotel room. On this stay, I snagged the last room available which is a two room suite that sleeps six - and I have it all to myself. Well, I was approached by one of the bums that hang out in front of the McDonald’s, preying on tourists that walk by, asking them for money. He wanted a spare dollar to buy a cup of coffee. I replied my usual responce “I’m sorry, don’t carry cash.” which is usually the case. Today, I did have a single dollar bill, realized that while I was walking ahead, by didn’t turn around. Didn’t want to part with it. Coffee seemed like a non-critical luxury, even at one dollar for McDonald’s coffee. However, should he have asked me for money to eat, I would have walked him up to the counter, and let him order as much as he consume.

It’s sad in America, or maybe, globally. I am in this room tonight that sleeps six. I imagine dude, sleeping outside, dirty, in some landscaping somewhere. I could at least offer up one of the beds for a restful night of sleep, and a shower, but I just don’t feel as if I could trust a bum not walking off with my stuff in the middle of the night, or murdering me, or taking my keys. I dunno.

Nicole: God created dicks to keep me quiet.

Krissy: According to Ryan, there’s anal babies.

“Ok, I’m going to hell. I lie to mormons.”